a glitch or two

You spend the first five years trying to get with the plan, and the next five years trying to be with your friends again. —James Murphy, LCD Soundsystem


i know i've come to a point where i need to completely cut people out of my life in order to really move on. things aren't the way that i remembered them. and apparently i'm the enemy in a battle i didn't even really know existed until too late.

has ignorance played a large role? of course. sometimes being too busy blinds people to many things. and then when life slows down, you're left with whatever is to be salvaged from the damage that was never meant to be caused.

i've realized that nothing in this city will ever be like it used to. and it's beaten me up every minute i don't occupy myself with distractions. perhaps that's why i try and fill my life up with as much busy work as i can get.

it's time to let go, no matter how much i want to hold on to that idealistic view of what was, i can't. because i need to remember that what i was holding on to was such a small piece of time; just a minor glitch in the grand scheme of things.

and i just keep telling myself that: a glitch.... just a minor glitch...

and it hurts a little bit less.










a few weekends ago i got away from this city. i spent two days in nyc. as soon as i got back on the subways, i missed it more intensely than i ever thought possible. everything i once despised about it a year ago, i loved at that moment. i wanted it back. i realized that the only reason i gave it up was to go travel the united states of america in a van full of musicians. and i never looked back. and i was never back since. but now that i've re-visited, i want it again. of all the places to be malcontent, nyc might be the best. distractions are easy to come by, and there are plenty of people to fill those empty voids, if only temporarily. in two days, i got two apartment offers and 1 viable job opportunity. why shouldn't i go back?
and then i remembered my personality. and that as soon as i moved back, i would want to move away again. so i've saved myself the hassle. and i'm continuing to get through each day here. not remembering how it was, but thinking of how it can be. of how i can make it the city i've always wanted to be a part of.

just a minor glitch...

and then before i know it, i've forgotten everything about it...