late nights|early mornings

you are a traveler at heart. there will be many journey's. —kansas city fortune cookie

the eggshell walls, the cliched hotel room artwork, and the white sheets of a marriot that used to scream of an odd unfamiliarity that attempts to fill in the comforts of home have now become well known and calming to me. because of a family discount rate, we end up here more often then not, piled into these now familiar rooms when we know no one in whatever land we're currently visiting. it's generic and un-personal, and i would much rather stay at a home of a friend or friend of a friend so that i can get up while everyone else is still sleeping, take my cameras and explore the foreign land. instead these hotels usually lay in some kind of corporate or industrial park miles outside of the actual city. but i can't really complain, now can i?

as much as i enjoy each person that i'm touring with, i'm yearning for alone time. most of the people in this band are extremely book smart, discussing everything and anything they possibly can, which sometimes goes straight over my head. it really is wonderful to have such intelligent news hungry people surround me. not only do i take in information that i may never have without them, but it has given me the chance to be able to fully realize what i only partially knew for a long time: i'm not a conversationalist by any means. i don't add or chime in when i know i might have something to contribute. i either just take it all in silently or am lost in my own obscure thoughts to really pay any attention. for better or for worse, i am what i am.

as tour manager i struggle with my own setbacks and selfish desires in order to keep everyone else in line. i've always been an organized person, and can admit to an odd OCD when it comes to certain kinds of cleanliness, but for the most part the creative side of my brain just wants to take over, become selfish, and indulge in the experience as it's given rather than be in charge and run it. each night i restrain from drinking, keeping myself in check to transport everyone safely to whatever destination we might have. each morning i get up long before the others, organizing myself before attempting to organize them. slowly i wake each person up (in order of difficulty, easiest to hardest of course) and coax them into taking a shower or get ready for the day of driving/playing ahead of us.

last night i was informed of some sad news from the homeland. please help out if you can. spending so much time in a van touring around is more dangerous than people sometimes lead themselves to believe. please help out if you can.

less than two weeks until i'm back to stable living. i can't decide whether i'm excited, or extremely sad.

i guess i'll find out soon enough.





sunrise, somewhere in colorado