does anybody ever get what they want?

This is the kind of girl that I am: I woke up this morning and noted somewhat mournfully that I’m getting a bit on the chubby side. Shortly thereafter, someone gave me a brownie and I looked at him and said “Thanks. Now I have breakfast.”

I believe that in life, certain kinds of detox are necessary. Every year, my friends Chris and Kelly do that crazy 10 day fast where you drink nothing but water laced with lemon, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. They start tomorrow, and Kelly couldn’t be more excited. Every year, Christiana gives up sugar for Lent. She is currently rocking week three, and while it doesn’t seem to get much easier, she hasn’t yet given in. Me, I go through phases where I quit things for careful periods of time. Sometimes it’s sugar, sometimes it’s booze, sometimes it’s spending money or going out. Sometimes it’s thinking about any of the above, and I quit quitting and eat cake every damn day until it catches up to me and my stomach starts to hurt. I guess sometimes it just feels good to think that you’re getting yourself on track, whether it’s true or not.

It’s all part of a certain awareness that the city in which we reside is one of particular excess, and the people we are are not of the mind to say no to whatever we really want to do. March will end, and with it, Christiana’s sugar fast, and you can bet that come April 9^th it won’t be eleven AM before we’re munching on peanut butter cupcakes. It will get warmer, and I’ll remember that when I walk to get everywhere, my entire self starts to feel better.

We are the kind of people who eat a lot of cake. There are various ways that one can balance that out with being a healthy human being, but for the most part we manage. I will never be the kind of girl who says no when someone asks if I want dessert. Christiana will never be the kind of girl who gives up sugar and forgets how much her body needs it. I like to think that this is part and parcel of what makes us interesting, but even if the opposite is true, I can’t say that I really mind.