loving life, in hypercolor

i. I love springtime; I love chicory coffee; you probably don't know it, but in the summertime when I start to feel unhappy or lonely, I love going to Central Park and walking around the Reservoir as many times as it takes before things feel better and a Jamba Juice is ultimately required. I said yesterday that 80% of what goes on in my life happens in my head; this is why I'm so tired all of the time.

ii. And as that summer approaches and I start to think about how my heart bursts every time I get near a beach, I'm excited, too, to think that one of my nearest and dearest may be coming back to the fold. There are really exhilarating moments in my life, most of which take place in bars, where every word becomes a new discovery and a whole new set of creative ideas overcome you. It used to be easy to come by, back in the days when I spent half of my time in philosophy classes and the other half with my head in the clouds; these days, it takes a good friend to jog it out of me. Christiana could not be planning her arrival at a better time.

iii. And in other news, I've finally come around to the wild, wonderful ways of My Morning Jacket. Who knew?

the simple days

"A ballerina dance on their toes. They dance gracefully. I want to be one."

Humans are born with the desire to roam the earth. We crawl, then walk, then run. All in an effort to move further away from where we came from: from home. I know firsthand the thrill of what changing ones surroundings can do for ones heart. And now I also know that staying home and letting others go can be it’s own fantastic journey. Because when you let go of something, you make room for something else entirely, something you never expected. Something that makes home seem like it’s own unexpected adventure. A trip where new treasures are found around every old corner. Where the world, in all it’s complexities, come right to your doorstep. Because in the end, the power is not just with those who go away, but also in what they leave behind.

a glitch or two

You spend the first five years trying to get with the plan, and the next five years trying to be with your friends again. —James Murphy, LCD Soundsystem


i know i've come to a point where i need to completely cut people out of my life in order to really move on. things aren't the way that i remembered them. and apparently i'm the enemy in a battle i didn't even really know existed until too late.

has ignorance played a large role? of course. sometimes being too busy blinds people to many things. and then when life slows down, you're left with whatever is to be salvaged from the damage that was never meant to be caused.

i've realized that nothing in this city will ever be like it used to. and it's beaten me up every minute i don't occupy myself with distractions. perhaps that's why i try and fill my life up with as much busy work as i can get.

it's time to let go, no matter how much i want to hold on to that idealistic view of what was, i can't. because i need to remember that what i was holding on to was such a small piece of time; just a minor glitch in the grand scheme of things.

and i just keep telling myself that: a glitch.... just a minor glitch...

and it hurts a little bit less.










a few weekends ago i got away from this city. i spent two days in nyc. as soon as i got back on the subways, i missed it more intensely than i ever thought possible. everything i once despised about it a year ago, i loved at that moment. i wanted it back. i realized that the only reason i gave it up was to go travel the united states of america in a van full of musicians. and i never looked back. and i was never back since. but now that i've re-visited, i want it again. of all the places to be malcontent, nyc might be the best. distractions are easy to come by, and there are plenty of people to fill those empty voids, if only temporarily. in two days, i got two apartment offers and 1 viable job opportunity. why shouldn't i go back?
and then i remembered my personality. and that as soon as i moved back, i would want to move away again. so i've saved myself the hassle. and i'm continuing to get through each day here. not remembering how it was, but thinking of how it can be. of how i can make it the city i've always wanted to be a part of.

just a minor glitch...

and then before i know it, i've forgotten everything about it...